


Door Number One

by NellieOleson



Category: Longmire (TV), Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-13 16:57:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18035534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NellieOleson/pseuds/NellieOleson
Summary: Joracwyn [11:52 AM]Omg someone please write the fic where the hotel room is double booked but no one realises until Walt and Jack are in bed together and Sam and Vic are standing in the doorway, like, wtf?It might be cliche but I want it!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> look, i'm sorry. joracwyn asked for this and it was just right up my garbage fic alley.
> 
> it's not beta'd. barely edited. worse than the kitten fic.
> 
> please don't judge me.
> 
> judge joracwyn. she wanted this.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, for some reason book!Vic showed up to be in this story that is set in tv canon. idk

The room was dark, but Jack could just make out the lump of Sam under the covers. She was breathing a little heavy, and Jack wondered if she had a cold. She hadn’t mentioned it when they’d arranged this weekend getaway but sometimes those things came on fast. He slid into bed as quietly as he could, trying not to wake her.

They were only there for the weekend, and it seemed like a waste to spend this first night sleeping. Still, he _was_ really tired.

And apparently so was she.

****

Sam tried texting Jack to let him know she’d be late but there was no answer. Maybe he was late too. Or, more likely, he’d gotten in on time and was fast asleep. It had been a long day for the both of them.

The casino was easy to find. It was the only thing out there in the middle of nothing. She slid the rental car into a spot near the entrance and made her way inside.

It was a nice place, everything looked new and clean. Sam wondered how long it had even existed. She checked in at the front desk and made a lap around the gaming floor before heading over to the elevators.

The doors were sliding shut when she saw someone running toward them. She stuck her arm between them and they bounced open. 

A blonde woman wearing a cop uniform pushed her way in before they were fully open. The uniform looked pretty authentic, but the woman was wearing it in a way that made Sam think it had some quick-release strings on it somewhere. It was a casino after all, and she seemed a little too attractive for a middle-of-nowhere sheriff's deputy.

“Thanks.”

Sam nodded at her and pressed the button for the fourth floor. The other woman glanced at the panel and leaned against the back wall. They rode up in silence because she didn’t seem like the type of person who would appreciate inane conversation. 

Sam stepped out first when the doors opened and checked the sign on the wall before heading left down the hall. 

She wasn’t surprised when the woman followed her, left or right were the only two options. She was surprised when they both ended up at the same door, staring at each other with their key cards held out like they were about to participate in the world’s strangest duel.

“Who the fuck are you?” 

The way she had her hand resting on her weapon made Sam reconsider her assumptions. “I— Are you really a cop?”

The woman—Moretti, according to her nametag—raised an eyebrow at Sam. “You think i wear this for fun?”

Sam didn’t say anything and hoped her face didn’t either.

“You thought I was a stripper?”

Apparently her face had a big mouth. “Well. Yeah. I did. But just a little.”

Deputy Moretti smiled at her. She really was attractive, ruining all Sam’s preconceived notions of what a small town cop should look like. “It happens a lot,” she said. “But, again. Who are you?”

“Sam Carter. This is my room.”

“Uh. No. This is my room.”

They both held up their key cards and compared the matching numbers.

“Fucking Henry.”

“Who’s Henry.”

“The dumbass running this place.”

Sam tapped her card against her knuckles. “Well, I’m meeting someone here. I should see if he’s in there.”

“Yeah. Me too.” 

Sam used her card to open the door and hit the switch just inside the door. Jack was there, which was good, but he wasn’t alone, which was less good. There was the kind of hat she expected everyone in Wyoming to be wearing sitting on the table in the corner and the large man she assumed it belonged to lying in the bed with one arm up over his head. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“I take it that one’s yours?”

Deputy Moretti shook her head. “Well, he was. But he looks pretty happy. I gotta get a picture of this.”

Sam pulled her phone out of her pocket too. “Yeah, me too.”

“I am going to get so much mileage out of these pictures. Wait till I show his daughter.”

Sam laughed at the other woman’s evil plans. She was definitely sending a picture to Daniel. She looked at the picture and zoomed in a little. “They look really tired.”

“And cute. I mean, look at these fuckers.”

“Should we wake them up?”

“No. We should definitely not.” Sam thought for a moment that she meant they should let them sleep because that was the nice thing to do. But that wasn’t it at all. “Imagine how much more fun it’s going to be when they wake up on their own.”

Sam turned off the light and they moved back into the hallway to plan their next move. Deputy Moretti stuck out her hand so Sam shook it.

“Vic,” she said. “I figure we should be on a first name basis now that we’re sister-wives or some shit.” Vic started walking toward the elevators and Sam followed. “Come on, we’ll go yell at Henry for awhile. That’s always fun.”

Sam kept following Vic while she stalked through the casino until she found the man she was looking for. He looked up when she called out to him. “Henry.”

He was a good-looking, native American man that Sam hadn’t noticed on her way in. He smiled at both of them, but Sam could tell he was a little confused by her existence. “Vic. Where is Walt.”

Vic aimed a thumb at Sam’s chest. “Upstairs sleeping with this woman’s boyfriend.” 

Henry kept all of his amusement in his eyes in a way that reminded Sam of Teal’c. “I was unaware your relationship was that interesting,” he said to Vic.

“Yeah. It’s not. You gave us all the same room, dumbass.”

Henry checked his computer against some hand-written post-it notes stuck to the monitor. “Hmm. It seems you are correct. I am new at this.”

“Henry, you’ve been running this shithole for six months. You are not new.”

“In any case. I apologize.” He slid his glasses down his nose a little and clicked through a few menus on the computer before handing Vic another key card. “This is for the room next door. Which of you will be moving?”

Sam looked over at Vic. Vic just shrugged. “Neither of us yet,” said Sam. “We left them there.”

“Man I really want to be there when they wake up,” said Vic.

Sam checked her watch. They probably had enough time to do more than just sit in the room and stare at the men. “Mine will be passed out for hours. How about yours?”

“Mine just got out of the fucking hospital again. I’m not sure what they have him on this time, but it knocks him right the fuck out.”

“Are you from the East Coast?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You say ‘fuck’ a lot.”

“That is kind of our calling card, isn’t it?”

“A little.” 

Henry was watching them like a tennis match until Vic shifted her attention over to him. “So, Henry. How about you comp us some free chips to help alleviate all this suffering we’re going through due to your colossal fuck-up?”

Henry looked exasperated and amused, and Sam was beginning to think they were better friends than this interaction implied. He reached below the counter and brought out a stack of chips. “Perhaps these will provide some solace.”

Vic tilted her head and stared up at him. “Perhaps not.”

He brought out more chips.

“That’s better. I’ll make sure the law stays out of your hair.”

Vic gathered up the chips and handed half of them to Sam. “Are you feeling lucky?”

“Luck has nothing to do with it. You know this place is set up for us to lose, right?”

“Yep. Good thing we’re not playing with our own money.”

“Although—” Sam thought for a moment. 

“Spit it out.”

“I am really good at blackjack.”

“What? You count the cards or something.”

“Something.”

“Well let’s get the fuck over there and win us some of this casino money.”

**********

It took all of Jack’s training not to scream when he opened his eyes and found himself being gawked at by Sam and a strange woman holding her phone up like she was filming him. _Was she filming him?_ He blinked a few times until his eyes started cooperating. She was some kind of cop or security guard and _what the hell was happening?_

The mattress shifted beside him and he looked back at the women again to make sure one of them really was Sam because _who the hell was in bed with him?_

He rolled over against his better judgement and came face to face with a face he didn’t recognize and certainly didn’t want in his bed. “What—”

The strange man woke up and looked a lot less alarmed than Jack felt. He looked like he was trying to decide if Jack was real or not. It was disconcerting. 

“Vic?”

The woman who was not Sam put her phone down. “Well, well. What have we here?” She shook her head a little like she was disappointed. The man next to Jack sat up and looked over at Jack like he was inconsequential. Sam had her hand over her mouth, and Jack thought that maybe screaming would actually be good thing to do after all. 

“Vic, what’s going on?”

“You tell me. I got a call from Henry that you were at the roulette wheel trying to entice strange men back to your room.”

“What?” Jack and his strange bedfellow said that at the same time and then looked at each other.

“Nah. I’m kidding. I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Me and Sam here showed up and found you guys in bed together. Sound asleep. Worn out, you might say.” 

Whoever this woman was, she was not subtle with the innuendo.

“I was alone when I got in bed.” The man next to him turned on his light and grabbed a pocket watch off the nightstand. What kind of person still carried a pocket watch?

“I—” Jack wanted to say the same thing, but it wasn’t true. He remembered now, how tired he’d been. 

And how quiet he’d been so he wouldn’t wake Sam. 

And how whatever was going on right now was probably all his fault.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @NiceHatGeorgia: Can you write a chapter two where jack and Walt decided to get out of bed and go down to the casino for a drink with Sam and Vic and the guys spend the whole time standing around awkwardly while Sam and Vic kind of flirt with each other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again. Not my fault.  
> Also, no. I don't know why this exists either.

Nobody felt much like sleeping after everyone was out of bed and sorted back into their appropriate couples. Sam was texting someone and the look of pure glee on her face let Jack know that he was the subject of those texts. He was never going to hear the end of this.

The cop-lady sat down on the bed when Jack got up and crossed her ankles. “Thanks for keeping it warm for me.”

The cowboy man looked down at her while he stuck forty pounds worth of stuff onto his belt. His face was full of a quiet affection that was somehow subtle and glaring at the same time. “Well, I might go down and check on Henry since I’m awake.”

“Not by yourself, you aren’t. How long ago did you take those painkillers?”

“About three hours.” The man put his hat on in a way that made it look like he practiced the move. Or maybe everyone here just started wearing them young enough to develop cool hat moves. “Hey, Vic?” 

“Yeah?”

“Who are these people?” Jack wondered what this man’s life was like when he didn’t follow that up with _and why was one of them in my bed?_ Maybe this sort of thing happened a lot out here where the cows outnumbered the humans. 

Vic hopped up from the bed. “I don’t know about your boyfriend here, but this is Sam. She’s really good at blackjack.”

Jack looked over at Sam. She was smiling at Vic like they’d known each other a lot longer than was possible. “When did you have time to play blackjack?”

“You two were sleeping for a long time. We got bored.”

“And it didn’t occur to you to wake us up?”

“It occurred to us. Right, Vic?”

“Oh yeah,” said Vic. “Definietly. But it was a lot fucking funnier to watch you two snuggle instead.”

Cowboy man offered Jack his hand while Vic and Sam got in a few more laughs at their expense. “Walt Longmire. Former Sheriff of Absaroka County.” He paused to look Jack over. “You’re not from here, are you?”

“Here as in...Wyoming? United States? Earth?” That one earned him a look from Sam. But really, what was the point of their crazy lives if they couldn’t have some fun with it every now and then. 

Actually, nobody seemed amused by Jack’s dumb joke. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Jack O’Neill. Current head of Homeworld Security.” Jack figured if they were going to play credential wars, he was in good shape.” 

Walt Longmire, former Sheriff of Absaroka County, seemed a lot less impressed than Jack was expecting. 

“Never heard of it,” was all he had to say.

 

***********

 

“So, you do a lot of fishing out here? Hunting?”

“Yep.”

“Which one?”

“Fishing, mostly.”

Finally, something Jack thought he could work with. Trying to have a conversation with this man was like some kind of torture. “Me too. Nothing like a lazy afternoon sitting on the dock with some beer and no fish.”

Walt looked sideways at Jack. “That’s not how we fish here.”

“Oh.” Vic and Sam were huddled together at the blackjack table . They were having a lot more fun than he and Walt were. Jack’s parents had warned him that jumping straight into bed with someone wasn’t the right way to start a relationship. He should have applied that advice a little more broadly.

Walt seemed content to just stare at Vic and Sam. Or more likely just at Vic. The man was obviously smitten. And quiet. It wasn’t that Jack was all that chatty, but he felt like he was standing next to a statue. And now that he was fully awake, he was bored. He blew out a breath.

“Something wrong?”

“No, no. Just enjoying our time together.”

 

********************

 

“Look at those two idiots.” Vic nodded toward Jack and Walt with her chin. They were still standing by the slot machines, leaning against the wall and looking like they’d been banned from all things fun. 

Sam smiled at Jack because he needed the encouragement. “Walt’s really tall,” said Sam. Walt also needed a haircut but Sam didn’t mention that, mostly because he had his hat on now and the little curls sticking out from under it might have been the reason he kept it long.

“Yeah, he’s a big fucker all right.” 

Sam was finally getting used to Vic’s prolific use of the word ‘fuck’. She managed to work it into almost everything she said. Her colorful language went well with her uniform, and Sam figured if Vic hadn’t been a cop, her only other options would have been truck driver or drunken sailor. 

Sam raked in the pile of chips and started stacking them while the dealer slid a new round of cards across the table. “So Walt used to be the sheriff?”

Vic shook her head and looked back at Walt again. Walt tipped his hat at her and Sam thought Vic might have blushed a little. It was a look that was completely incongruous with the rest of her. “Of the whole county.”

Sam knew enough about rank structure to guess the answer to her next question, but she asked anyway. “Was he your boss?” 

“Yep.” Vic’s whole demeanor changed like she was expecting to have to beat the shit out of someone. And Sam was probably that someone. Sam recognized the reaction, because this was a subject she could relate to. 

“Jack was my commanding officer for eight years.”

“No shit? I bet that was interesting.” 

Interesting was probably the last word Sam would use to describe it. “No, not really. The Air Force has some pretty strict fraternization regulations.”

“So you couldn’t...you know.” 

It was odd, Sam thought that she didn’t use the word fuck here when it was finally almost appropriate. “No. We couldn’t.”

Vic nudged her with an elbow. “But you can now.” Her eyebrows furrowed a little. “I mean, can’t you? He’s not still your boss is he?”

“Well. Maybe sort of.” Because the Stargate program did still fall under Homeland Security. It was a little bit of a gray area. She kicked lightly at Vic’s foot, and Vic tapped the cards on the table. “But it doesn’t matter. We’re married now.”

“Oh. Sorry for calling him your boyfriend. I didn’t see a ring.” 

“I work with a lot of sensitive electronic equipment.” She pulled her dog tags out of her shirt. “I keep it with these.” Jack actually wore his on his hand where it belonged, but Vic must not have been paying as much attention to him.

“How’d you two manage to get married if you weren’t even allowed to fuck? Seems like an oversight.”

And there it was. In context and everything. Sam laughed. Vic must be a trip to work with. “We just ran off and did it in the two weeks where he wasn’t my commanding officer.” 

“That’s pretty sneaky. I like it.” Sam felt oddly pleased by her praise. Praise coming from other women always felt more genuine. “We’re allowed to fuck our bosses out here in the Wild West, but Walt retired anyway. Made things easier.”

“I bet.” That would have also made things a lot easier for her and Jack. But there was no sense dwelling on that now. “Who’s the sheriff now?”

“His daughter, the lawyer.” Vic shook her head a little. “Can you believe that shit? I spend half my time training her how to be a cop.” Vic didn’t seem near as put out by that as her ranting implied she might be. Sam thought that whatever strange family dynamics they had going on, they were making it work. 

“I guess that’s life in a small town.” Sam hadn’t ever actually lived in a town as small as the one she’d driven through on her way to the casino. There really couldn’t have been all that many contenders for the job. “So where are you from? New Jersey?”

“What? No. Fuck New Jersey. Those assholes got a boardwalk and some shitty, mobbed up casinos and think they’re worth visiting. Fucking Jersey.” Sam thought that if they’d been standing outside Vic might have spit on the ground to make her point. “I’m from Philadelphia.”

“Sorry.” She had no idea New Jersey was such an insult. 

“It’s ok.” Vic linked her arm through Sam’s and leaned into her shoulder. “You just keep letting me know what to do with these cards, and I’ll forgive you. Hell, maybe I’ll even take you back to my room.”


End file.
